my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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