There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
