buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
