So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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