YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
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