great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
