I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
