some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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