Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
