it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
