I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize