I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
