and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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