Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
