no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Rumble strips road head = magical
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
