Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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