On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just had sex on a roof
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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