i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
