Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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