.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
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Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
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shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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