Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
