"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
