Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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