I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Can I color on your dick again?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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