So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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