We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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