pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
sarcasm needs its own font
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
