Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Found the puke drawer
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
