do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
