Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
