Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
now i know why i became what i already was.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
