but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he thought i was a dude.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
