you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
