need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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