just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
