And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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