"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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