I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
