it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
