If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
