yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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