Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
