Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
