i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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