Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Houston, we have a squirter
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
