Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
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You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
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Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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