So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
