I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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