I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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