So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
