He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you had me at cake vodka
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
