as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize