I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
