So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
