cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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