I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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