Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
