so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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