I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I have tasted many bathrooms
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
