windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize