Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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