I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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