When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
