Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
