Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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