In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
