New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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