y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Are we still banned from the library?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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